The Artist’s Way: Week 5– Recovering a Sense of Possibility
Removing blocks, starting with the ones in my mind.
I’m starting to see how this work spirals and builds. This week didn’t bring a major revelation, but it helped me notice the quiet limits I still carry and the desires I hadn’t yet named.
Week 5 is about possibility. Julia invites us to explore all the ways we shrink what’s possible: what God can do, what we allow ourselves to want, even how much time or joy we think we’re allowed to have. She has us list things we’d do “if it weren’t crazy,” name our forbidden joys, and write out our unfiltered wishes. At first, I didn’t think much of it applied to me. I’ve been on an intentional spiritual journey for a while now, and I don’t really chase material things or attach to specific outcomes. I generally want what I have. But when I sat with it, I uncovered things I would genuinely enjoy. And I gave myself permission to say them out loud.
Notes on Possibility
“We decide how powerful God is for us. We unconsciously set a limit on how much God can give us or help us. We are stingy with ourselves. And if we receive a gift beyond our imagining, we often send it back.”
We all know the verse: faith without works is dead. But I internalized that to mean I had to overwork to be worthy of good things, instead of understanding the work as a reflection of my faith. I believe in God, but I’ve also believed I had to earn the blessing. And that if I hadn’t “done enough,” it wasn’t coming.
This week reminded me how skewed my definition of “enough” has been. Moving in love, doing what feels true in my spirit—that’s enough. It may not be a clean 1:1 exchange of effort and reward, but that kind of showing up is what creates space for God to move. I know I’m doing my part, so my prayer this week has been simple: God, blow my mind. No more placing limits on what can happen and when.
“Recovery is the process of finding the river and saying yes to its flow, rapids and all. We startle ourselves by saying yes instead of no to opportunities. As we begin to pry ourselves loose from our old self-concepts, we find that our new, emerging self may enjoy all sorts of bizarre adventures.”
I do wonder if I’m still holding back. This life might look adventurous to others, but to me, it feels... standard. I’m writing, going on walks, eating dinner with friends. Not exactly “bizarre adventures.” I’m not resisting, but I’m not leaping either.
That came up during the “Forbidden Joys” exercise. I’ve dreamed of living in a treehouse for years. So why haven’t I? Am I really giving myself full permission? Maybe it’s not time yet. Maybe “bizarre” isn’t even my path. But still, I have to ask: Is this my biggest, boldest life? Can I stretch further? Say yes more?
This week I got an invitation to go to Jamaica in May, and I said yes. The logistics aren’t all figured out, but it felt right. Excited to see where that leads.
“We strive to be good, to be nice, to be helpful, to be unselfish. We want to be generous, of service, of the world. But what we really want is to be left alone. When we can’t get others to leave us alone, we eventually abandon ourselves. To others, we may look like we’re there. We may act like we’re there. But our true self has gone to ground.”
“Afraid to appear selfish, we lose our self. We become self-destructive. Because this self-murder is something we seek passively rather than consciously act out, we are often blind to its poisonous grip on us.”
“The question “Are you self-destructive?” is asked so frequently that we seldom hear it accurately. What it means is Are you destructive of your self? And what that really asks us is Are you destructive of your true nature?”
This section hit. I’ve worked hard not to abandon myself, hence all the big life transitions. But that deep desire to be of service still shows up, and sometimes it clouds what I create. It’s not always a bad thing, but it can push me toward choices that don’t feel fully aligned.
Case in point: I let a friend of the person I’m subletting from stay over “just for the night.” That one night was about to turn into two, and I felt bad saying no. But I also felt taken advantage of because she acted like the change was no big deal. And honestly, I didn’t even say no outright. I just told the truth: “This doesn’t feel good.” That was huge for me. I know what it’s like to need a place to stay, but I also needed to honor my own need for solitude. It felt good to tell the truth. To not abandon myself just to be nice. And she left, which was a relief.
Morning Pages
✅ 7/7 days completed
Lots of night pages again this week, but I still showed up. I’ve been wanting them to feel more creative, turn into stories or poems. But right now, it’s still mostly venting. I can’t force creativity, and that urge probably comes from comparison, from hearing how other people’s pages go. I’m just noticing that though and will keep writing whatever comes to my mind.
Artist Date
✅ 1/1 completed
I got sick out of nowhere and hadn’t planned anything, but I needed a few things to care for myself before crawling back into bed. I decided to pick up a candle, something small and comforting I’d been wanting for a while. I followed directions to one shop but didn’t see anything I loved, so I kept walking. Literally one block up, I found The Wizard Shop.
I found a candle I liked, and just as I was about to check out, I remembered I’d been wanting grounding objects for this nomadic season. And now here I was, surrounded by possibilities (see how that ties into the week’s theme?). I asked for suggestions, picked out a few stones that spoke to me, and then the woman went into storage and pulled out a small bowl engraved with “Let God”—exactly what I’m doing.
My grounding set (with affirmations):
Carnelian – I act with courage. I create with ease.
Pyrite – I am powerful. I am open to abundance.
Green Agate – I trust my path. I grow at my pace.
White Agate – I return to my center. I already have enough.
And while holding the bowl:
I move in truth, and let God do the rest.
I’ve moved twice since then, and this ritual has helped each new space feel like mine. Mission accomplished.
Biggest Ahas & Takeaways
🎭 Most powerful exercise: My Favorite Creative Blocks - Complete the sentence, “Honestly, my favorite creative block is…” and draw yourself indulging in it.
I couldn't think of anything because I don't particularly feel blocked. So I turned to ChatGPT, shared some thoughts, and asked it to come up with that based on what it knows about me. It came up with two characters that called me out:
The Discounter: I do the thing, but then I shrink it. I write, plan, reflect, dream, ideate... and then whisper, "But does this count?" So true. There are so many things I’ve made but never shared because I convince myself no one will care. And sure, not everything has to be public but many times it’s not just about privacy. It’s about fear. About criticizing myself before anyone else can. That’s what has to shift.
The Observer: I take in other people’s work and love it because it feels easier to absorb than to assert. I sit on my gifts like they’re still becoming when they’re already ready. That last line has been looping in my head ever since. How does it know me like this?! I tell myself I need more training, more credentials, more proof. But that’s just another delay tactic. No more. The gifts are already ready.
💡 Aha moments:
I believe in a supportive God… but also don’t. I say I trust God to show up and show out in my life. But I’ve still been holding onto subtle doubts like, Is this divine guidance or just wishful thinking? or I’ve never seen anyone held in overflowing ease for a long time. Naming those doubts is helping me release them.
My dreams are pretty consistent. Julia had us reflect on what we’d do if we had money at 25 or 65, I’d basically choose the same life: living somewhere beautiful, taking care of myself, supporting people and causes that inspire me, and sharing my ideas. The form might shift, but the essence remains the same. So no, I’m not too late. And no, I don’t need to wait.
It’s okay to want things. I’ve spent a lot of time letting go of desire, maybe too much. Making a list of what I want didn’t feel indulgent. It felt grounding. And when I bought those stones, I actually used them. I think the same would happen with a quality luggage set. And my future Honda CR-V (Yes, the mom car. I just love how spacious it is).
I want to make things. This Substack is just a sliver of what I want to say and create. I’d love support, collaborators, new formats. But I’m not trying to be a “content creator.” I want to make from joy. Not for metrics. Not for consumption. Just for the joy of being fully expressed and seeing what I create out in the world.
There are payoffs for staying blocked. The ones that hit hardest? I don’t have to prove myself. I get to imagine my potential without ever testing it. I get to stay unseen, which feels safe. But that safety also keeps me small. And that’s not a trade I’m willing to make anymore.
Closing Thought
Going into Week 6, I’m holding onto this: God is doing exceedingly, abundantly above all I ask or think. Time to revel in all the possibilities.